Thursday, September 10, 2009

How do you wear a groin guard?

Just finished lesson 2 in Krav Maga. I was worried my injury was going to slow me down. Oh, you didn't hear about my dice with death? Well, it's pretty short. It happened on Tuesday. My sparring partner advised me to do some shadow boxing. Not knowing how it was done, except from nostalgic clips of Steven Segal and J.C.V.D. punching the air with ruffled eyebrows, I was bound to get into trouble. Sure enough, 20 mins into practice I pulled a muscle. Luckily the only witness was staring at me in the mirror. It goes to show I'm already a lethal weapon.

Asked by the instructor what I'd do if I got in a fight if I couldn't handle shadow boxing, I replied 'quick uppercut to my own face. Down in one.' The crowd goes wild.

So, how do you put on a groin guard? Do you go into the changing rooms and come out with superman pants on? Or do you tuck it underneath and strut around like Hugh Heffner? I worked it out in the end. But, guys, this should give you an idea of my athleticism. It reminds me of the old adage, 'if you have to ask?'

Rough guide to this week's class:

4-hit combo, lunge punch, defensive punch, front kick and a little defence. In the end I was elected to be attacked by five assailants. I got a punch to the face and my hand is bleeding. Not as serious as it sounds. It was all accidental.

DIARIT: 8/10

If you can't be arsed reading, listen to the robot...

1 comment:

  1. Tee hee. Five? Tee hee. I can just imagine 5 fists mushing your face. Tee hee.